About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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