Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
