doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
