while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
