I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
