Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
