JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
