At least make sure they are 18
Why
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
