you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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