Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize