My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Randomize
