Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
im six kinds of drunk right now
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
