I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
