Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
