you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
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