they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
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my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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