So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
he thought i was a dude.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
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