SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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