ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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