peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Randomize