he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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