My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
