So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
