just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
