ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
