that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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