everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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