Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
