That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
