Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
