Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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