you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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