So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
