Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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