I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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