I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
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