In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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