it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
