If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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