Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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