who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize