I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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