At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
