You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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