Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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