Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
