im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
