Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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