Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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