You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize