You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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