if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
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After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
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Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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