Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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