Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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