Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
