Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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